that better be church wine
Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes
i love it when people misspell bawling and say that they’re “balling their eyes out” like ball so hard my motherfuckin eyes came out
my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed
MY LITTLE SISTER JUST RAN INTO MY ROOM AND OPENED THE FUCKING WINDOW AND TRIED TO GET OUT BECAUSE MY OTEHR SISTER WAS PLAYING TAG WITH HER AND SHE DIDN’T WANT TO BE IT.
SHE ALMOST JUMPED OUT OF THE SECOND FLOOR SO SHE WOULDNT GET TAGGED
Now that’s what I call determination